This is a journal about religion. If you are unaccepting of those who do not believe, then tell me how much you hate me right here. Have a nice day.

First things first.

I used to be Christian. I was what you would call a sinner. I said 'God damn it' and apologized, I lusted after boys yet remained abstinent, I ate as much as I wanted yet worked out, I slept until noon and stayed up doing homework, I had fun without regrets. I did not repent. And I'm still alive, so obviously, I do not care.

So I became agnostic. I wanted there to be a God, so I believed in Him, until I thought about it one day. The idea of seeing without believing did not appeal to me.

Feeling empty with the idea of 'God' and one or more prophets 'Jesus' 'Muhammad' and the 'One to Come', I left Christianity for a polytheistic and much more accepting way of life. I learned from the trees and channeled energy as I underwent Wicca. I got bored with this, too, and proceded to leave it to my friends who had more time and care for such a time- and effort-consuming religion.

So I thought of other religions, ones in which it simply did not matter whether there was or was not a god or gods. Buddhism came to mind, but to be Buddhist, one must be completely unselfish and needy of anything one desires. One must live on the simplest of terms and crave nothing more. As you can tell, this would just simply not work.

Would there ever be a religion for me? No, there wouldn't.

Today, I have decided to become an atheist. I do not believe there is a God. Here is my most basic reasoning:

Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?

Point 1. If God is willing yet unable, then he is not God. Contradictory.
Point 2. If God is able, but not willing, he is evil, and therefore not the Good Lord people claim him to be. Contradictory.
Point 3. If God is able and willing, evil is still here and he is not the Savior people claim him to be. Contradictory.
Point 4. If God is unable and not willing, he is not a divine entity. He is not a god, so he is not God. Contradictory.

Religion is not for me.

I listen to my values and decide what is right and wrong from there. I believe that if I am good, good will come, and if I am bad, bad will come. I do not wish death upon those undeserving of it. I do not lay with people for fun. Does this make me a Christian, or any other type of monotheistic religion?

No.

It simply makes me a good person who has human desires who was put on this earth not to fear and to hate, but to love.

And all of the religions I experienced simply did not offer enough of it.